Once upon a time my company, Small Town TV, rented office space at Santa Monica Studios. For history buffs: SMS was built on top of an abandoned 5-story Cold War bomb shelter that was a lot of fun to explore. Across the hall were the offices of Dr. Henry Cloud. Henry is a psychologist, radio show host and author. He is best known for his book BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, WHEN TO SAY NO–TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.Henry had the parking space next to mine. He habitually nosed his big Mercedes to the farthest edge of his space, which meant that I couldn’t open my driver’s door completely. I was forced to hold my door within a whisper of scraping paint from his car, then contort my body to worm my way out of the crack. Henry and I attended the same church; I liked him. But making myself into a midget every morning and night got to be more and more annoying.
One day Henry and I were getting coffee at the same time in the break room. I asked him if I could talk to him about boundaries. A professional glow came over his face as if he were expecting me to tell him how much I enjoyed his book or to ask him a question about some loved one running roughshod over my life. Instead I told him my issue with parking boundaries.
Henry looked as if I had just slugged him in the stomach. He apologized profusely, said it wouldn’t happen again, and if it did, I was free to, “Barf all over my car.” Undoubtedly, that would have really overstepped boundaries but wasn’t at all necessary because the good doctor immediately changed his parking habits.
I wish I could be as adaptable as Henry because lately I have been letting emotional and personal boundaries get pushed around. The result is that I have fallen behind in my writing. But now I am re-establishing some protective barriers.
I am taking the month of April off to finish my new book VISION CASTER. I shall be hiding out on a sunny beach in a Developing Country without phone or Internet access. If you write or call me in April, you won’t hear from me until May.
Thanks Henry for teaching me about boundaries and I’m glad I didn’t have to barf on your car!
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